Wish List

Well the holidays are upon us, and everyone enjoys that. Probably the only part of the holidays that everyone dislikes is to see them go, and I'm no exception. Seeing the holidays pass is a bit depressing, as it's a reminder of time, and life, passing before my eyes. How many more Thanksgivings will I have? Even if I have 50 more, will that final one arrive in the blink of an eye, to find myself in a nursing home, wondering where the years have gone? Aging scares me, growing old scares me. I want to live a full life, and I fear missing out on life. So to confront that fear head on, I've made my own "bucket list" - the top things I want to accomplish during my time on this earth. I don't know if I'll accomplish all these things, but I believe that knowing I was actively pursuing them should give me some contentment. I believe we were all created for a purpose, and so far as I can tell, my own ministry is investing in the lives of young men, to point them on the straight & narrow path (my own "calling", if you will). But beyond that are several smaller things, little points that tease my heart. They are (in no particular order):

• Join a band (whether orchestral, church, jam, whatever)
  
• Sing in a choir
  
• Travel (Hawaii, Ireland, Italy, Israel)
  
• Become a *good* cook
  
• Write one book for my kids


• Volunteer for hospice


• Dance, and become good at it.


• Go backpacking in the mountains


• Live near the water

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but right now, that's what I'm looking at.

Two Feet of Topsoil

I recently heard someone describing "the blues" as a funny twist of sad lyrics with an upbeat tune, such that you start with the sad story, but you can't help but walk away feeling better.

I was reminded of that while listening to Brad Paisley's "Two Feet of Topsoil". To start off with, yep, it's a breakup song; his girl done left him. But everything else about it is so FUN. It's definitely country, with a fast-paced twang, but it also seems to meet the definition of "blues". Just read these lyrics:

Two Feet of Topsoil by Brad Paisley

Yesterday I thought that I was low as I could get
I had hit rock bottom
ever since you up and left
But this morning when I saw with somebody else,
well needless to say
That's when I started sinkin' even lower
And as far as where I'm at today

Well, There's two feet of topsoil
A little bit of bedrock, limestone in between
A fossilized dinosaur
A little patch of crude oil
A thousand feet of granite underneath
Then there's me

I was kinda hopin' I could dig my way back out
A couple dozen roses maybe get you back somehow
But the love in your eyes as you talked to him today
was plain to see
So I ain't gonna get involved, but should you
change your mind
Well you know right where I'll be

Well, There's two feet of topsoil
A little bit of bedrock, limestone in between
A fossilized dinosaur
A little patch of crude oil
A thousand feet of granite underneath
Then there's me

Embrace

"A fool bailed out never learns..."

Why is our country in this financial mess? You could point to lots of fat-cats at the top, but beneath all of that is a host of foolish credit decisions at the grass-roots level. People buying more than they can afford, and banks trying to get rich off of them.

Do we have the money to resolve this mess? Of course not. The country does not have $700 billion sitting in some account.

So how are we trying to get out of this mess? The same way we fund the war in Iraq, resolve social security, and deal with a host of other issues: we hand the bill over to our children (in the form of national debt), and proclaim victory. We are handing them a truly massive load of debt that they will be no more able to pay than we are. What kind of victory is that?

A bailout (READ: borrow debt our children will have to repay) is not the answer. The answer is we need to do the right thing for once: acknowledge the truth, that we are in this mess because of poor financial decisions, start taking responsibility, tighten our belts, and endure the pain. Let poorly run companies fail. The economy may suffer, but the market will eventually correct itself. Just as it always has. And it's the natural "fires" that burn away the waste, leaving a stronger, healthier system in their place.

The scariest part of all of this is the denial of responsibility on the national level. If we can not recognize our responsibility for getting into this mess, then how can we hope to resolve it?
We must deal with the mess, instead of just footing the bills onto our children. They already have far more of a mess headed their way than they can afford.

Todd Agnew

The more I hear of Todd Agnew's music, the more I like it. This guy is amazingly real, and his lyrics are so nitty-gritty, you'll find yourself stopping and asking, "Did he really just say that?" And then there's that deep, penetrating voice. As one reviewer described it, "This guy is not background music. You just can't ignore his singing."


If You Wanted Me

I'll admit I'm glad we're not disciples
Out on a lake paralyzed with fright
Cause I'm afraid I might have laughed at Peter
Until he stepped into that stormy night
If You wanted me to walk on water
Why'd You make the solid ground seem so right?

And I'll admit I'm glad I'm not King David
Ruling over everything I see
Cause I think I've fallen for more than Bathsheba
Your creation's a temptation for me
And if You wanted me to love You only
Why'd you make the moonlight sparkle in her eyes?

I'll admit I'm glad I'm not John the Baptist
In a jail cell waiting for my day to die
Cause at least down here I know what we're chasing
And it's hard to trust Your dreams are so much better than mine
But if You wanted me to die to myself
Why'd You make me fall so deeply in love with life?

If You wanted me to surrender
Why'd You make these hands able to hold on so tight?
So tight?
And if You wanted me to be like You
Why'd You make me like me?

One Hungry Nation

For any fans of Clark Howard out there, he made a great point in today's radio program: our country is focused on government and big business as the cause (and fix) for our country's financial problems. But it's really about us, individually. We are a country of people that are always hungry for more, more clothes, better cars, and bigger houses. We got into this mess simply because we spend more than we earn. And the only way we'll get out of this mess is if we, individually, turn that around and only spend what we earn.

Hey - maybe my old car can make it another year.

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." anon

Fireproof

Parenting Lesson #584 (Roach Trap)

Call me a slow learner, but after 16 years of parenting, I am still figuring things out. For instance, take today's lesson (#584): "Never, ever, ever make a bet with your child, unless you want to lose money." It seems that most children see proving a parent wrong as the most lofty pursuit of their time...

Here's the setup: We had a roach problem on our back deck. Too much cat food left out too many nights had led up to a bit of a problem with the nasty little beasties. I had been wondering what to do about them, hoping there might be a more safe & friendly solution than the traditional poison route. So, without thinking much of it, I told the kids that I would offer a reward for whoever came up with a roach trap. The reward was simple: Leave the trap out overnight, and you get $1 for every roach trapped by morning. I didn't know what they would come up with, but I was thinking, oh, maybe one or two roaches, if they are lucky.

DD/10 came to me the next morning, quite excited at her accomplishment. What she did was quite simple: Just set out an empty peanut butter container with cat food in it, and leave the lid just cracked across the top. It worked. Boy, did it work. When she had finally killed (gassed) and counted her quarry, the total was...66.

That little girl just cost me $66! I don't know what shocked me more: that her simplistic trap was so phenomenally successful, or that she had so easily conned me out of so much money.

(sigh)

So, take it from me folks: never, ever bet your child with money, even if it's for a noble cause, like achieving some goal or raising their grades. They will bilk you out of your last penny, without the least bit of guilt. After all, they have no loftier pursuit of their time.

Technical note: For those curious as to how it worked, I have to assume that they could easily climb up the side of the glass with the label, but once inside, the combination of smooth glass and the curve of the upper lip made it too difficult to get out. On the other hand, DD/10 believes they were just too happy with that catfood to even bother trying to leave.

Mrs. Smith Goes to Washington

Listen to the democrats this week, and you'll hear moaning about Sarah Palin as the folksy "hockey mom" who just doesn't have the credentials for high office.

I agree, she certainly doesn't have the resume that, say, a Joe Biden may have. But is that so bad? Imagine...a true outsider suddenly thrown into the white house (and just one heartbeat from the Big Seat, no less!). What would that look like?

Perhaps a little like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?

Remember, this is a government "of the people, by the people, for the people",
not "of the lawyers, by the politicians, for the lobbyists". Regardless of her politics, I think our government would do well to get an infusion of truly fresh new blood, someone who really is just, what, 18 months? from a small town. Yes, I'm liking this.

Tough Math

Georgia high schools are implementing a new math curriculum this year, which is causing a bit of a stir. Unlike the prior approach of teachers spending all their time in front of the class-room, they are starting to do more "collaborative learning", which involves students breaking into groups and working through problems together. The teacher does still spend time teaching at the front of the room, and most of the grade is based on individual work, but the collaborative part of it is new for most students and parents. And many were not happy. Last night the school held a meeting for parents of freshmen to discuss these changes, and the parents were not very happy. There seemed to be an the endless stream of complaints from disgruntled parents about how difficult the new approach was for their children.

Now I'm no education expert so I am not in a position to say which is the best approach to teaching, but I do believe a good challenge is sometimes just what we need. I don't think it's a coincidence that it was the generation that took the beaches of Normandy that also put a man on the moon.

As I think about these youth, I realize THIS is the generation which will establish a permanent colony on the moon. They will be the ones to make a manned mission to Mars possible, and, God-willing, they will be the first ones to finally celebrate a cure for cancer.

Either our children will stretch themselves to meet challenges such as those presented by this new curriculum, or they will sit back and watch CNN as Taiwan and India claim those prizes. I, for one, am willing to struggle with my daughter as we calculate how much fencing Claire needs for her oddly-shaped garden. It's worth it.

"I don't believe in the no-win scenario."

The scene was pretty grim – Captain Kirk, well, actually Admiral Kirk, now, and the rest of the landing party were trapped in a cave beneath the surface of a barren planet. The Enterprise was long gone, and it looked like all hope was lost. One of the members of the party, a young lieutenant, Saavik, who had just graduated from Starfleet Academy, took this time to ask the old admiral something that had been bugging her. It was about the “Kobayashi Maru”, a special test they gave in the academy for which there was no good solution to the problem. The test was graded on how well you lost.

Saavik: "Sir, may I ask you a question?"
Kirk: "What's on your mind, Lieutenant?"
Saavik: "The Kobayashi Maru, sir."
Kirk: "Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now?"
Saavik: "On the test, sir. Will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know."
McCoy: "Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario."
Saavik: "How?"
Kirk: "I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship."
Saavik: "What?"
David: "He cheated."
Kirk: "I changed the conditions of the test. Got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose."
Saavik: Then you never faced that situation. Faced death.
Kirk: I don't believe in the no-win scenario.

At that moment, Kirk’s communicator beeped, and Spock’s familiar voice came through: “We’re ready to pick you up , sir.” The look of shock was evident on everyone’s face, as it became clear that Kirk had a rescue plan worked out all along. As they dissolved into the transporter beam, Kirk looked at Saavik and repeated, “I don’t like to lose.”

Wow. That was a fantastic scene, the kind that made Star Trek fans want to jump out of their seats and start cheering. The year was 1982 and the movie was “Star Trek II: The Wrath of the Khan”.

So, why do I bring this up? Well, fast forward 25 years to 2007. Dr. Randy Pausch, A university professor at Carnegie Mellon, is faced with his own Kobayashi Maru test, having been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Shortly after learning that treatment was futile, he was asked to give a “Last Lecture”. It a common practice for professors to give a special lecture to students which would sum up their life experience and all that they had to share, as if he was about to die and this was his last chance to share what was most important to him. The fact that Dr. Pausch actually did have terminal cancer was just a coincidence, yet it made all the difference. On Sept 18, 2007, he stepped onto the lecture stage for the last time, and gave an unforgettable speech. It was recorded, and you can still see it on the web (below). The speech was incredible and was soon watched by millions across the web (the current YouTube count is 6,662,280).

One of the people touched by his talk was William Shatner, the actor who played Kirk in Star Trek. He was so moved by Dr. Pausch’s stand that he sent him an autographed photo, with that classic quote from the movie “The Wrath of Khan”:
“I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”

That was a beautiful quote to read, especially in the context of someone fighting cancer. At the core of the cancer experience is the word "Hope": Hope for healing, hope for recovery, hope for survival, hope for a reason, a purpose, for something good to come out of the dark valley. Dr. Pausch did not recover from his cancer, but in the way he dealt with death, and life, he taught the world a great deal. William Shatner's sentiment expressed that beautifully.

For those of you who have not yet seen Dr. Pausch's famous "Last Lecture", just click below to see the video. It's well worth your time.

As they should be...

Great quote from a bumper sticker:

"I'm CDO. It's like OCD,

but the letters are in alphabetical order

...as they should be."

Wise Investments

The quote for the day comes from my all-too-witty wife, Gana, after discussing finances and asking that "Where is the money going? question:
"Braces are an investment, so that our kids can attract and marry doctors and lawyers. :)"

- - - -

PS. I actually have FOUR children in braces, and wonder why I feel dirt poor... ;-)

Waiting on a Woman

There is a great video on YouTube for the song "Waiting on a Woman" by Brad Paisley. It stars Andy Griffeth and has a beautiful, bittersweet ending. A must see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvKgnkIN8C8

Just Say No

Just a few days after Josh & I went to Six Flags, a teenager lost his life at the same park in a tragic accident. Apparently the boy wanted to get to a ride quickly, and rather than taking the walkway, he decided to climb two 6-foot fences and ignore multiple signs warning him of danger. He was subsequently struck by a roller coaster and decapitated.

Now, the last thing I would want to do is add any burden on his poor parents, already terribly overwhelmed with grief. But so often I see children being raised in ways that (unintentionally) lead to trouble, sometimes tragic. We do not just raise children to be good to kids today, but also to be safe, wise & hopefully a blessing to the world tomorrow. As a basic starting point of that, they need to realize that many boundaries should not be crossed. Even if they whine or beg or plead, "but everyone ELSE has an XBox, and BY GOLLY, I'm HUNGRY and I want that Big Mac NOW!"

Please.

I was just in a conversation with a co-worker talking about the rules we place on our children. His notion was that only rules regarding safety were needed. Ok, so don't run across a busy street. That's a start. But what about respecting common decency, or the rights of others? What about rules to guide one in wisdom, growth, and health? What happens when his daughter wants to drop out of 9th grade because her 18-year-old boyfriend offered her a spot in his band?
And yes, we do want to teach kids to think for themselves, and to be brave & bold to explore. But there are some times in life when they also need to take a slice of humble pie, and recognize their boundaries.

The boy who lost his life at Six Flags may not have chosen death, but he did choose the path of death. How many young people today are making that same choice? And how do we guide them away from that? By teaching them that one critical lesson that every human needs to learn at some point: How to deal with the word "No".

Six Flags Day

I took Josh to Six Flags yesterday, and we had a fun time there. For Josh, the thrill of the water rides and roller coasters made the day. As an adult, I've lost the romance of waiting in line for one hour, to enjoy 2 minutes of being jostled around, but the one-on-one time was good.

This is a new parenting approach that Gana has taught me: I used to think that treating all the kids identically was essential, hence I wouldn't think of going to Six Flags unless all could go. But now we're doing more one-on-one activities, to let each child know how special they are. And to my surprise, the kids seem happy with that. Since each child is different, they usually want to do very different activities anyways.

One Six Flags life-saver: bringing along water bottles. I can't believe how much water we drank, and although the food/drink prices are outlandish, the food stands are happy to load you up with ice water.

So that you may be fruitful...

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful...Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:1-4

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Hebrews 12:5-6

Cry for Justice

For the past year, God has been bringing the concept of "Justice" before me again and again, in many different ways and from many different sources. It's like a school teacher telling a child, 'Now pay attention, you're going to need this one.' I have no idea where it's going, but it keeps coming up. Much of those thoughts seemed to coalesce in a sermon series delivered by our pastor, Crawford Loritz, over the winter.

Take, for instance, his talk on racial justice. It was a tricky talk to give, as he happens to be an african american pastor of a (mostly) white church, and he admitted he did not want to come across as "scolding us". He wisely presented it in the form of a dialogue, between himself and an associate pastor, Monty Watson. I think the highlight of that talk came when Monty asked Crawford, "So, what is it that african americans want of white people? Do we owe an apology, or what?" There was a slight pause, as you realized that this was probably the crux of the dialogue, than Crawford gave a great answer (and I am paraphrasing here, based on memory)."No," he said, "it's not that anyone owes anyone else an apology. After all, most of the offenses done against african americans were committed long ago by people long since dead. But what many of us in the african american community want is a realistic understanding of the weight of the sin, of those offenses in the past. Many white people talk about the good old days with a pollyannaish view that everything was great in the past, as they are only aware of what white people experienced. For african-americans, the experience was quite different."
That comment struck me that morning, as I could definitely relate to it. The early part of the century was indeed a pretty good time...if you were white. I was reminded of that again this morning, listening to a personal essay given on NPR. The speaker was Mary Ellen Noone, and her story was recorded as part of StoryCorps Griot, an initiative that collects the recollections of black Americans.
In her story, we see a glimpse of the other side of life, where the absence of basic humanity in the ill treatment of others cries out for justice. And in seeing that, we can better understand some of the scars that still remain.
You can read her story on NPR by clicking here. To listen to it, just click on the "Listen Now" button. It is hard to hear, but it is important.

Spring is coming!

My favorite time of year by far - Spring, the promise of new life. I took this picture one year ago, on March 22. I can't wait to see all those flowers in bloom again.

Hey, after having a few kids, a guy is free to appreciate flowers without having his manhood questioned. ;-)

What if...you could go through life with a guarantee that your every need would be provided for? What if you knew someone was actively watching out for you, someone powerful enough to control any environment, any situation you find yourself in? What if you were guaranteed to survive, to thrive, to win....and all you had to do was ask...and be willing to take on a new perspective. Would you?

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air...your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:25

"...If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?.....in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. " Romans 8:31-37

Raising Daughters

I once asked someone what it would be like raising teenage daughters, and after pausing a moment, he said, "It's very easy to NOT do it right. Unlike young children, who beg and demand your time, teenagers are more independent, and they will quickly glide through your life if you are not paying attention, going about their own lives. You have to force yourself to stop, to make time to spend with them."

You know, he was right.

Will I?

This is one video you have to see. The song comes from the Broadway play "Rent", and although I can not recommend the play, this one piece of it is a gem. The setting for the song is an AIDS support group. From what I've read, the idea for the song came from an HIV support meeting a few years ago where a man stood up and said, "I'm not afraid of dying -- I'm ready for that. I just want to know this: Will I lose my dignity?"



Wow. It just takes my breath away. Not that I've been in that immediate circle (dealing with AIDS), but having gone through the dark valley of cancer with my father and my first wife, I recognize those heart-stopping moments when you struggle with fundamental questions that you never thought you would be asking.

Many of us may not be able to relate to Aids, but none of us are immune to the big life-challenging illnesses (whether cancer, diabetes, ALS or whatever). Even if we do not face them directly, odds are someone close to us eventually will. They all have a way of eradicating walls that otherwise would never come down. You will probably never find yourself in an AIDS support group, but you very well may one day be asking yourself, "Will I lose my dignity?"

For some, the answer to that question is a painful one. I've watched this process slowly unravel the worlds of my father, and then my first wife, Ida, as everything they felt important slipped from their fingers. For everyone, the "Will I...?" questions are different, but they all have that same heartwrenching feel to them. Will I lose my health? Will I lose my career? Can I continue homeschooling my children? Will I see my children grow up?

And when all the things we clutch on to so tightly in life have been peeled away, one by one, all that's left in the end is God. At that moment, we start to realize what a sacrifice Jesus made to leave the glory of heaven, to find himself cold and bereft of comfort in a humble manger. Knowing that the cross lay ahead of Him. When everything that was important to us is gone, all that is left is Him. Some get angry and shake their fist at Him, while others run into His embrace.
And what about us? While life is good and the days are sweet? When we still can hold on to those we love and reach for our dreams... Can we appreciate Jesus during these times? Can we appreciate His sacrifice for us? While we may not have to ask the "Will I...?" questions, He did.

"For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again." 2 Cor 5:14-15

The Lineup

Hillary Clinton - I can not imagine her overcoming the animosity against her in the Republican party. The two-party system today is so closely balanced that a candidate must draw voters from both sides in order to win. I just can't see Hillary doing that.

Barack Obama - He just strikes me as so young and inexperienced. He scores way, way high on style, but pretty low on substance (in my humble opinion), largely based on his age. Nevertheless, given our current culture, it is possible that someone could get into the White House based on style alone. I sure hope not, though.

Mitt Romney - He has strong business experience and is running as a social conservative, which should get him into the heart of the Republican party, BUT...he is Mormon. Let's be honest: social-conservatives of the GOP are evangelical Christians, and although the rest of the world may confuse Mormon's with Christians, the evangelicals sure do not. The Christian right is not ready for a mormon president.

Mike Huckabee - Here's the one I voted for, because he is, well, great on the social-conservative issues. But I expect his background as a Christian preacher may make him unpaletable for everyone outside the Christian-right camp.

John McCain - The face of a war hero, seasoned, and appeal that could stretch across party lines. Just two strikes against him: he is not a social conservative, and he is the sole proponent of continuing the Iraq buildup, which is unpopular. Nevertheless, he has already reached across party lines by being progressive, and if he picks a social-conservative VP to appease the Christian right, then this race will be his to lose.


The moral here: A candidate in today's politics must have appeal across the full spectrum to win. McCain is the closest to that.

Standing on the sidelines...

Feeling the stress/pain of a parent whose child is not handling things quite right...
Wanting things to go smoothly, easily for your child...
Wanting them to be spared pain in life, to not have to learn in the school of hard knocks...
and yet all you can do is stand on the sidelines, calling out to them, your hands fidgeting nervously, as you watch the choices they make.

(sigh)

Nothing to do but fidget with your hands...
and pray.
And then remember that God is working out a story in them too. Even now, His pen is on the page...




How to Save a Life
by The Fray

Step one: you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back to you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or brake with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life