Shhhh! Secret about Christmas...

We have two writers in the family. Gana is about to do her first posting...


From Gana:

I need to let you in on a secret happening at our house this Christmas. In blending two families, there are always challenges, and in our case, we had two children who loved making a Christmas list with size, color, and price noted... and two children who preferred everything under our tree being a surprise. Last year we did what each individual child was used to... but this year we are shaking it up.

In early December we made a big song and dance about Christmas being (*sigh*) smaller this year. We let them know that they would have $ 30 each for presents (gasp! horror!)... so we were going to let THEM pick out their Christmas presents, to be sure they got what they REALLY wanted with the limited dollars. We held our breaths, with only one child shreiking at the small dollar amount. The other three cheered when they heard the rest of the plan. A parent would take an individual child out on a personal date, EVERY weekend between then and Christmas, to let them shop at the store(s) of their choice, until the $ 30 was used up. They could choose to spend it all on one gift, or divide it up in any way they chose. So a shopping mission began, with great results. We watched and listened as the kids bargained with themselves outloud while shopping... "Hmmm... I really love this, but I think I could get it for a better price at x-y-z", etc. We secretly smiled as they fit within the parameters of what they didn't realize was just one part of "the game".

Journey was an excellent shopper, but (politely) grumbled that it takes the fun out of Christmas when you already know what you will be unwrapping. She did a really good job with spreading her dollars around, and is pleased with what she picked out, but... she's not sure this was all such a good idea.

Sable hemmed and hawed about making decisions, and finally asked on one of our "dates", if she could spend her $ 30 on the other three kids. I questioned to be sure she understood that that meant she wouldn't have gifts to open (she doesn't know the rest of the game), and she assured me that she knew that, and still wanted to spend her money "giving". So we let her. She was getting the real meaning of "giving" --- and sacrificing self in the process. But in the few weeks since, Sable has quietly asked if next year, we can go back to the "old way", of Christmas gifts being a surprise. Her reason? Because you don't get the same feeling of LOVE, when you pick out your own gifts, as you do when people take the time to pick things that they think you will like. My heart smiled at that one. (And lest you feel too much pity, realize that this is our "hoarding" child, who has massive amounts of money saved up from her allowance and extra chores! I think she's actually having pity on the other poor children in our house who don't know how to save...!)

SO!!! To tell you the rest of the story, the kids will be opening their self-selected presents on Christmas Eve, after we do the last candle on our advent wreath, with us using the story that Christmas morning will be too rushed for present opening, with having to get Journey to the airport. They will also open the small gifts that they bought/made for each other on Christmas Eve. And we will pretend like, Whew! We did it! Wasn't that a success! --- and let them watch a classic Christmas movie, before we go to midnight mass. What they don't know is... Christmas morning they will find their stocking filled, and the first of several scavenger hunt notes, that will lead them all over the house to find (surprise!) more presents that we were secretly buying on the side.

Once the whooping and hollering and running from floor to floor "hunting" is over, and the trash is once again gathered... we are going to have a chat about the real meaning of Christmas. What parts they liked about picking their own presents, what part they didn't like. How did they feel Christmas Eve when the "smaller" Christmas was over. Was their heart content and happy, when we had smaller amounts of presents, but wonderful food, wonderful family time, with the evening ending with Christmas Eve mass? What was it like Christmas morning when something totally unexpected happened? When it was bigger and better than what they went to bed content with the night before. Then we will talk about how so many times we settle in life for what is on OUR "list"... when what God has planned for us is so much bigger and better. And His plans will sometimes lead us around in crazy ways (like a scavenger hunt), where we can't help but question what He is up to... but it's part of His plan. He's carefully moving chess pieces to put us exactly where He needs us. Or as some have stated it, weaving a tapestry in our life, and all we can see is the underside with the mess of knots and blur of colors that look inside-out. But when it's all revealed --- we will be so thrilled that we trusted Him enough to follow the crazy twists and turns.

So our Christmas is a bit shaken up this year, and this of course won't work "next year", because the kids will already know the secret. So we'll have to get creative again. But just wanted you to know that the (shock! horror!) limited budget the kids might quote to you for our Christmas is actually a farce. And any concern the kids show about how terrible it is to have to pick out your own gifts... that's exactly where we want them to be... :)

Hope you have a merry time of your own this weekend and coming week, as you celebrate our Saviour's birth! Gana

On being a photographer for an all-girl rock band

Journey and her friends at school decided to form an all-girl rock band that they named "Star Girls". Not that any of them actually play instruments, but they've got this dream and, well, they have stars in their eyes. And they are dreaming big. Think of major rock concerts across the country, and you're getting there.

Joshua, being a boy of course, is not in the "Star Girls". But he is an amateur photographer, having gotten his own "starter camera" on his last birthday. He offered to be the offical photographer for Star Girls for 1 cent per week. Mind you, that's $1 for a two year contract, which I consider to be very reasonable, if not tantamount to slave labor. But Journey is a shrewd businesswoman and would have nothing of it. If the Star Girls were not yet receiving any money for their hard efforts, why should they fork over a $1 every other year to Joshua?

Moreover, in order to even be considered for this prominent position, Josh had to pass a careful examination. We were driving in the car as I overheard this, so I happened to get all the juicy details. I have to admit, I was amazed and ever so proud of my boy for ACING this test. I am including the questions, along with the answers, for the benefit of anyone out there who is also considering a career as photographer for an all-girl rock band. Consider this a freebie.

1. What do you do if you are in the middle of videotaping a live performance, and you have to go to the bathroom:
   a) Stop taping and go to the bathroom
   b) Leave the camera running while you quickly slip away and come back so nothing gets lost
   c) Tell them to stop the performance.
   * Correct answer: (b)
   
2. The girls are late for a concert and they haven't come out of their dressing room yet. What do you do? a) Just wait outside to see when they come out b) POLITELY knock on the door and remind them of the time c) Bang on the door and rudely tell them they have to come out now
   * Correct answer: (b)
   
3. While filming a concert, you realize one of star girls has a big zit on her face. What do you do?
   a) Zoom in the camera on her zit
   b) Get shots of everything else in the concert, but excluding that one girl completely.
   c) Play it cool and videotape everything like nothing is unusual
   * Correct answer: (c)
   
4. You need to give a message to someone in the dressing room but the door is closed. What do you do?
   a) You enter the room with your hand covering your eyes.
   b) You knock on the door and POLITELY announce that there is a message waiting for so-and-so
   c) You go back to doing what you were doing, KNOWING you will probably forget the message
   * Correct answer: (b)
   
5. What do you do between concert performances?
   a) Go bowling
   b) Get eat a meal at the restaurant
   c) Go to the bathroom and get freshened up, ready for the next performance
   * Correct answer: (c)
   

Going Out!

Tonight is date night. We celebrate our first anniversary in a couple of days, so tonight we're locking the kids in the closet and going out for fun. ;-)

Cinematic Grief

After you've been through the experience of losing a spouse, you become much more cognizant of how grief is reflected in our culture. Take for instance country music. You may remember hearing some sad ballads from that genre, but ask any widow/er and they will rattle off twenty country song titles that explicitely deal with the death of a lover. And now two movies have come out this holiday season that hit on this topic: Grace is Gone and PS - I Love You. I have not seen either yet, and know I will probably need to bring a box of tissues if I do go see them, but they sound worth it.


The trailer for "Grace is Gone" had me riveted from the start. Unlike "PS...", this one is clearly more dramatic, and brings back one of our favorite stars from the eighties: John Cusack. This movie is about the husband of a female soldier who discovers she was killed in Iraq, and now has the burden of delivering the news to their daughters. Unable to tell them directly, he takes them on a cross-country road trip with the stated goal of visiting a favorite theme park, but an unspoken goal of finding a way to tell them the bad news.
With this movie, John Cusack jumps to my short list of favorite actors. His eyes seem to convey so much in the brief scenes of the trailer, and you can tell his heart was really into this movie. There were three snapshots from the trailer that really jumped out:

• An early scene shows two army officers arriving at his doorstep, in what is a well recognized scene for our culture. I imagine this must be a regular fixture in the nightmares of every military spouse, and you can see the instant recognition in his eyes.
• Another scene shows him calling his home phone from a hotel while they are on the road, to hear his wife's voice as a prompting for a spontaneous grief session.
• And what appears to be the final scene, showing Cusack sitting on the beach, flanked by his two daughters. Again, his eyes tell it all.

The other movie, P.S. I Love You, is a more lighthearted look at another side of grief. In this story, a widow is surprised to receive a number of messages from her lost husband. He was a cancer victim, but as it turns out he had enough wits about him to devise a plan for supporting his wife, even after he was gone. Watching the trailer should tell you enough of the story. Unlike "Grace", this movie takes a more lighthearted, and even funny, look at grief. An instant chick-flick, this one looks like it quickly transitions into a romantic comedy.

Most people reading this already know that the grief theme is familiar ground for me, having been widowed back in 2005. And most people also know I am now coming up on the first anniversary of marriage to a wonderful gal named Gana. Having this fresh new chapter in my life, grief is largely a fixture of my past, and I try to keep it there most of the time. But those few times when the monster rears it's ugly head, Gana is nothing but supportive. She herself lost a sister twelve years ago, so she is familiar with the territory. I could not ask for a more kind and understanding wife. At first I thought the movie "Grace Is Gone" would be a bit too up-front for me (especially with the combined elements of children & grief), but when I told Gana about it, she decided we needed to see it together. It looks like it will be a GREAT movie. I'll just have to bring along my box of tissues. ;-)

Waterboarding

If you have been following the news lately, you have probably heard about a controversy called "waterboarding". The question is whether our government should be passing off prisoners in "temporary custody" to countries that engage in the practice of "waterboarding", something that has, up to now, been regarded as torture. Those in favor of the practice regard it as a "useful" way of extracting information from suspects. Those opposed to it are shocked that torture should be used ANYWHERE in the 21th century, much less in association with the United States of America.

Before we become comfortable with such a technique, we have to deal with a few points:

• The value of the end goal (saving lives from terrorism) needs to outweigh the cost (national integrity and moral standing in the international community). If we are willing to sacrifice our own virtue for that price, then what price are we willing to pay against the threats that will take MILLIONS of American lives (i.e. cancer)?
  
• By lowering the bar of how prisoners are treated, we need to accept and expect that our own military forces will be treated in this way by foreign countries. Granted, there are brutal enemies out there who have always been willing to torture and kill their prisoners, but those have always been just a few rag-tag extremists. Now we will be lowering the moral standard for civilized nations.
  
• We need to be prepared to deal with the consequences of such a policy. In the past, there have been some who have hated America because they viewed us as lazy and rich. Now a new breed will arise that hate us for torturing their fathers, uncles and neighbors. The net result will be trading a single prisoner in our custody for an unknown batch of terrorists out in hiding. Does this make us safer?

Read the following description of Waterboarding (taken from Wikipedia), and decide for yourself.

- Wayne

____________________________________

Waterboarding is a torture technique that simulates drowning in a controlled environment. It consists of immobilizing an individual on his or her back, with the head inclined downward, and pouring water over the face to force the inhalation of water into the lungs. Waterboarding has been used to obtain information, coerce confessions, punish, and intimidate. In contrast to merely submerging the head, waterboarding elicits the gag reflex, and can make the subject believe death is imminent. Waterboarding's use as a method of torture or means to support interrogation is based on its ability to cause extreme mental distress. The psychological effects on victims of waterboarding can last long after the procedure. Although waterboarding in cases can leave no lasting physical damage, it carries the real risks of extreme pain, damage to the lungs, brain damage caused by oxygen deprivation, injuries as a result of struggling against restraints (including broken bones), and even death.
Numerous experts have described this technique as torture. Some nations have also criminally prosecuted individuals for performing waterboarding, including the United States.
The practice garnered renewed attention and notoriety in September 2006, when further reports claim that the Bush administration had authorized the use of waterboarding on extrajudicial prisoners of the United States. ABC News reported that current and former CIA officers stated that "there is a presidential finding, signed in 2002, by President Bush, Condoleezza Rice and then-Attorney General John Ashcroft approving the 'enhanced' interrogation techniques, including water boarding." According to Republican United States Senator John McCain, who was tortured as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam, waterboarding is "torture", "no different than holding a pistol to his head and firing a blank" and can damage the subject's psyche "in ways that may never heal."

"Bob the Adulterer" for President

Prominent evangelical Christian leader Pat Robertson today announced support for presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani, proving that the Giuliani's patented mind control mechanism is indeed a grand success.

Reasons for Robertson's support of Giuliani:

• Giuliani is tough on terrorists
• Giuliani is tough on crime
• Giuliani is a fiscal conservative (meaning Pat's estate assets will be well taken care of)
  

What no longer seems to matter to Robertson:

• Giuliani is fine with the slaughter of millions of unborn Americans
• Giuliani is liberal on gay rights
• Giuliani was unfaithful to his marriage (Read: adulterer)

I have to wonder if this will sway more social conservatives towards Rudolf Giuliani...or away from Mr. Robertson. In Mr. Giuliani, we find a new alignment of political positions, that is neither Republican nor Democrat. It is merely expedient politics, that which will gain him the most votes on any given stand. Unecumbered by morals or convictions, Giuliani stands as the mirror opposite of a principled statesman. And now, the country knows where Pat Robertson stands as well.

Trivia for the day...did you know that if you Google "Giuliani" and "adultery", you get 173,000 hits?

High Infidelity: What if three admitted adulterers run for president and no one cares?, by Steve Benen

Giuliani Comes To Aid Of Accused Child Molester

The Betrayal of Marriage

The New Adultery Rules

Giuliani's new Republican Family Value: "ADULTERY" T-shirt

Peace in Ireland

It's easy to see the troubles in this world, perhaps too easy. I suppose it helps us cope with struggles in life, as our eyes focus on the challenges we need to deal with. But twenty years ago, who would have thought that Ireland would find peace and reconciliation? That instead of angry young men with guns and bombs, tourists would roam their streets....

Eileen Ivers is an Irish fiddle player, who has teamed up with Tommy Pipes (perhaps best known for being one of the original Blues Brothers). Their band, Immigrant Soul, has never been mainstream music, so you may not have heard it, but if you get a chance to, you are in for a treat.

Tommy has the most soulful deep voice, which is perfect with Eileen Iver's music. And as an Irish songwriter, Eileen hits on topics that have been big in Irish culture, including the struggles that country has been through. One song they perform beautifully together, Reconciliation, is an old remake, and it just plays across the soul. We all hope and pray the middle east will someday enjoy the fruits of such peace, although that may only come with the reign of our Messiah. In the meantime, let us celebrate with Ireland their hard won victory.

Reconciliation
(Ron Kavana)

When summertime has gone and autumn winds are threatening
To blow our love away 'tis then love will be tested
Arm in arm we'll stand, side by side together
To face the common foe who would tear our love asunder

All ye fairweather friends, where are you now we need you?
Gone like the Autumn rains on dark December mornings
When hard times come around like dark and stormy weather
There's only you and I, my love, to shelter one another

Now there's a time to fight and there's a time for healing
As the sun will melt the snow on clear bright April mornings
Our fight has run its course, now's the time for healing
So let us both embrace sweet reconciliation

You know that old saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"?

Well, you know, it's true.

I just gave my notice at BlueCube.

In two weeks I will start working at Radiant Systems.

At the end of the month I will take the GRE.

In December I will apply for grad school at Georgia Tech.

And if that works out, I will spend the next few years going to GT on a part-time basis (while working).

Wow. Life has suddenly kicked into high-gear, and it's scary.

I hope GT likes me. (weak grin)

What I'm about to divulge will probably shock some people. So my first order of business will be establishing a scapegoat. If you have to blame somebody, blame this little guy. You see him, the little runt hiding behind the Princess-Leah-wannabe. Yep. If you were a nerdy kid back in the '70s, you probably even know him by name: "Twiki". He is the one who got me started, all the way back in 1979.

You see, I was nine years old when the movie Buck Rogers hit theaters. No-one under 30 probably remembers it, but at the time, it was pretty snazzy. Well, for pre-teen boys at least. The hero, Buck Rogers is a space shuttle pilot who finds himself 500 years in the future. As you'd expect, sci-fi action & adventure ensued, and Buck Rogers kicked the bad guys' butts.

But, oddly enough, it wasn't the character of Buck Rogers that caught my attention. It was that little fellow...the robot...Twiki. I don't know why -- he was annoying as could be, with his penchant for blurting "Bidibidibidi" at random times. But still, this crazy notion snuck into my mind: what if I could build one of those? Hey - I was nine at the time, and already had a few years of schooling under my belt. And with a phenomenal imagination to more than compensate for any lack of knowledge, I took on the project.

Unfortunately, my 3 years of Louisiana public education did not get me very far.

By the time I was done, I had a pretty impressive sketch (er, schematic) of his exterior, with some lines and circles indicating where the wheels at his feet would go (walking was too difficult) and the pulleys to control those wheels. Ah, but for the CONTROL of that movement...that was the big thing. I knew there had to be some sort of control box inside him to manage that control: to take input from his surroundings (vision would also prove tricky), translate that into an action plan, and tell those little wheels when to start and stop. I knew this magic box was the key to actually building a robot, but I had NO EARTHLY IDEA how to go about that. So after a little experimenting, I abandoned the project, thinking that was the end of that.

And it was. Mostly. Years went by, and my life went on in many other directions. I grew into a teenager, went off to college, got married and started a family.

But then another movie came out that sparked my imagination, and again, that spark took me in a different direction than most other fans of the movie would follow. The movie was Titanic. You know the story: Spunky young "Jack" wins the heart of well-to-do "Rose", just in time for them to distract the watchmen on the Titanic, and lead to it's sinking and the demise of many, many people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you remember that opening scene? When the manned submarine descended to the Titanic wreckage, and released a miniature "pet" submarine on a leash, to go explore the interior of the ship? They did not talk about it in the movie, but that little "pet sub" was an ROV - a Remotely Operated Vehicle (and a true part of how the real Titanic was explored). Of course "vehicle" is a misnomer, because it does not carry people, it's just a "robot on a leash", albeit an underwater robot. I can't tell you why, but something about that just caught me and stirred up an old dream of mine: robotics.

I can't tell you why, but for some reason, that dream just grabbed my heart in a powerful way, like having the right key that unlocks a door. It just fit right. Over the next few years, I filled a large binder with thoughts, sketches, ideas, and articles on the subject.

It might be natural for me to say at this point that I chose a career in robotics, and followed that dream, but no, life got in the way. One crisis after another hit, until I found myself as a cancer caregiver, and then a young widower/single father. Through all those difficult years, my family was my main focus, with my job as software developer serving to pay the bills. But deep in my heart, that dream remained.

It would also be natural for me to say at this point that I have laid that dream to rest. Being nearly 40, well established in my career, with a family of six dependent on me, it would be, well, crazy for me to go back to school, to pursue, for instance, a PhD in robotics. Right? Well, some would say that. But a couple of things have spun my world around, making the impossible seem rather possible.

First, there's Gana. Since marrying Gana (almost a year ago now), our household has settled down to a beautiful, peaceful rhythm of life, love and laughter (with the occasional angst that accompanies puberty). Gana has been, to put it simply, marvelous beyond my greatest expectations. God knew what we needed, and He provided that in such an overabundant way with Gana.

Then, there's God. Several months ago I wrote down a list of prayer needs, and started talking with God every morning about that. Since then, I have seen him cross one item after another off that list, answering one prayer after another. When God provides for a need, He sometimes meets the need, and sometimes he completely blows it out of the water. One of my prayer requests was that God would resolve this tug in my heart for pursing robotics, whether by putting the dream away for good, or by opening the door to make it happen. And after all these years of just being a fuzzy dream, a longing in my heart, that dream coalesced into a clear plan in my mind. I suddenly knew exactly what to do, and as I researched the details, everything became very clear (and seemingly, very achievable).

So, here is what I am now looking at: I am planning to take the GRE this fall. If that works out (i.e. I can clear enough cobwebs from my brain to remember calculus), I will apply for grad school at Georgia Tech in January. Coincidentally, GT is just starting a PhD program in robotics this year. IF they accept me, I would start in the fall of 2008. I'll be honest, the odds are against me...but then, I never put much weight on statistics. If this is from God, then the doors of GT will swing wide open. And if it's not from God, well, hopefully I will get this distraction cleared up once and for all. My biggest concern is not about the academic challenge -- I feel ready for that; rather, I want to make sure I keep a balanced life, that I can work my job, go to school, and still be a godly, supportive husband and father. That is critical to me. I decided long ago that anything coming in the way of my family would have to go. So there it is -- a huge chance, a gamble, but something I want to try for.

All in all, I am hopeful. Very hopeful.

Breast Cancer Suspects

It’s amazing to see conventional cancer research sound more and more like what the naturopathic community was warning years ago. The following article by Francesca Lyman (for MSN Health & Fitness) describes suspected environmental causes of breast cancer.

And by the way, welcome to Breast Cancer Awareness Month.




Breast Cancer Suspects
By Francesca Lyman for MSN Health & Fitness

Breast cancer clearly has a genetic component, but "routine environmental exposures and lifestyle may play a major role," according to a recent ground-breaking study by the Silent Spring Institute and Susan G. Komen for the Cure. The study, published in Cancer, a journal of the American Cancer Society, uncovers 216 common chemicals that cause breast tumors in animals and reviews medical literature, including some studies that reveal environmental factors to be influential "in the vast majority of cancers."


Tailpipe Toxins
At the top of the list of common, potent mammary carcinogens are components of car and truck exhaust.

Tobacco Smoke
Like car and truck exhaust, tobacco smoke is a source of many PAHs. Among these are dibenz[a,h]anthracene, considered by EPA to be “probably carcinogenic to humans” as well as mutagenic—meaning that it can cause genes to mutate. It’s laced with many other cancer-causing substances as well, such as dibenzo[def,p]chrysene.

Industrial Combustion Sources
Just as components of car exhaust have been linked to breast cancer and a long list of other illnesses, air pollution from refineries and coal plants also compounds the load. Researchers studying air pollution in Erie and Niagara counties in New York State found a higher risk of breast cancer among post-menopausal women whose birth addresses were near locations recording higher levels of PAHs. The researchers, who used historic air pollution data dating back to the 1960s to measure these trends, thus suggest that exposure in early life to high levels of PAHs may increase one's risk of postmenopausal breast cancer.

Drinking Alcohol
Most everyone agrees that limiting alcohol consumption can reduce the risk of breast cancer, but the connections get stronger with each new study. Natural cancer-causing substances—primarily urethanes—are found in alcohol, including wine and ale beers. In a recent analysis of six studies that examined 322,647 women, each additional 10 g of alcohol consumed equated to an added 9 percent risk of breast cancer

Toxicants in Food
Food can be tainted by pesticides sprayed on crops, antibiotics used on poultry and other meats, and hormones injected into cattle, sheep and hogs. Some foods may increase the risk of breast cancer by increasing circulating levels of estrogen. They point to the fact that milk sold in the United States (banned in Canada and Europe) containing insulin-like growth factor 1 may put women at increased risk. Also, grilled or charred meat and fish contain various mutagenic agents that occur naturally in the grilling process.

Acrylamides—found in French fries, breads and cereals cooked at very high temperatures—pose problems, as do foods contaminated by styrene from polystyrene (Styrofoam) containers. Fish can also be contaminated with a variety of long-banned chemicals like PCBs, which have been linked to breast cancer, as well as by dioxin, a product of incineration.

Ionizing Radiation
In 2005, the National Toxicology Program classified x-rays and gamma radiation as causing cancer in humans, but ionizing radiation has long been regarded as the most established environmental risk factor for breast cancer.

We're exposed to x-radiation from medical x-rays, mammograms and other radiopharmaceutical treatments. Though these technologies offer great benefits, unnecessary exposure should be avoided.

Our greatest exposure to radiation is from the gamma rays in natural sunlight, which also provides us with beneficial Vitamin D. We get increased radiation from plane travel, as a result of greater proximity to the sun's rays and because the radiation is less filtered by clouds and particulates.

Hormone Supplements
Researchers broadly agree that women’s exposures to natural estrogens over time increases the risk of breast cancer. However, it is only recently that synthetic estrogens and progesterones have been linked to a higher risk for breast cancer.

Findings from the ongoing Million Women Study and the Women’s Health Initiative have found that certain kinds of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), used to alleviate menopausal symptoms, put women at increased risk of breast cancer.

Drinking Water Contaminants
Disinfecting products used to clean water help kill bacteria and keep disease in check. However, Silent Spring researchers caution that some disinfection byproducts of chlorinating water cause mammary tumors in rodents. There’s strong evidence for their causing cancer in humans as well. Likewise, many drinking water systems across the U.S. have been found to be contaminated by pesticides and dry cleaning chemicals.

Household Chemicals
Stain-resistant and flame-retardant chemicals have found their way into our lives—in our carpeting, furniture, clothing, cookware, cosmetics, lubricants, paints, and adhesives. Widely detected in blood samples in the US, PFOA (perfluorooctanoic acid) has been found to cause breast cancer in animals and is under further investigation.

Silent Spring Institute researchers also point to chlorinated solvents used in paint removers, varnishes, wood sealants, fabric cleaners, dry cleaning chemicals and septic tank cleaners as being suspected human carcinogens.


Gasoline, Benzene, Fuels and Solvents
Occupational studies have mainly focused on men, but a few studies on women workers have turned up elevated levels of breast cancer among those exposed to various petrochemical solvents—particularly women working in chemical factories and dry cleaning shops, hairdressers, nurses in health and science laboratories, and electronics industry workers. Benzene, to which we are exposed in gasoline at the pump and in lawn mowers and other appliances that might be stored in garages and basements, is a potent mammary carcinogen, according to Silent Spring researchers.

Pharmaceuticals
A wide variety of prescription drugs have been found to produce mammary tumors in animals—everything from Reserpine, used for the treatment of mild or moderate hypertension, to Furosemide for pulmonary edema. Many anti-cancer drugs are also known human carcinogens. Check the study's “browse” function under pharmaceuticals.

Miscellaneous Chemicals, Dyes, Whitening Agents
In January 2003, the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported their findings on human exposure to environmental chemicals, revealing some 116 toxic and cancer-causing chemicals in the blood and tissues of human volunteers chosen to represent our population. Among the compounds they found were multiple pesticides linked to breast cancer, dioxins that are products of incineration, and other chemicals.

Can our “body burdens” be lightened? Silent Spring researchers advocate reducing as many “preventable” exposures from industrial chemical byproducts as possible. Examples abound: 1,4 dioxane, a contaminant in detergents and shampoos, for example, and fluorescent whitening agents, both have been found to cause breast cancer in animals. The researchers argue that most chemicals used in hair dyes and cosmetics have not been tested for their health effects.

[end]

Our Brief stint as Pirates

Every year the kids get off for a week in September for "Fall Break", and tradition usually brings us to Florida. This year we camped out at Anastasia State Park, near St. Augustine. The park was beautiful, with a nearly perfect beach, natural beach. Barring some rain, we had a very good week and even got a family portrait as pirates while in town one day.

What do you see?

If you happened to go into the CompUSA in Roswell anytime during the late ‘90s, you probably would have seen a balding man in his late 50’s working there. He may not have been the one with all the answers; you could tell this computer technology was like new tricks for an old dog. But he’d be more than happy to help, and to find someone who could answer your questions. If you remembered anything about him, it would probably be his easy-going disposition, his quick smile & readiness to laugh. A friendly man. But there’s a lot you wouldn’t know by looking at him.

You probably wouldn’t guess that he had been to the bottom of the ocean, because, well, they needed someone smart down there when things went wrong. Or that the product of his work had been carried out of earth orbit, all the way to the moon, to support the Apollo astronauts working there. Things you probably wouldn’t guess about this second-rate retail salesman. Although...you just might see that quiet strength in his eyes.

He would probably be happy to brag about running the Peachtree road race – six times in a row, although he would not mention that the last time was only a three days after his first round of chemo. That was strength. And without seeing into his past, you would not see the quiet strength he showed in providing for his family even after his professional career collapsed; his willingness to work a fish-counter at Krogers, or try his hand at realty, or computer retail -- anything at all, to pay the rent and keep food on the table. Work he did, when others would just languish in bed, in a depression. He lived in the quiet strength of manhood, and he taught me what it means to be a man. That is, to love, by serving. All that, he taught me well, for he was my father. And I miss him.

Happy belated birthday, Dad. I love you.

Sorry folks, but this one is for men only. Everyone else, please come back next time. :-)

I remember seeing her for the first time in 1983…and oh, she was sweet. It was instant seduction. The Porsche Carerra 911. I don’t know what it was about her, but that exotic European styling nearly stopped my heart. Years have passed and I have tucked her away in the back of my memory (still haven’t told Gana about her yet), but perhaps when I retire I will get my hands on one. Until then, she’s just a passing dream.

I think most men know what I mean, that feeling of what it would be like to be out on the race track…no, on a mountain road, the top down, the wind blowing through your hair. It just gets your heart going. But imagine having such a treasure, a gift, and just leaving it sit in your driveway. Or to take it out, but only on trips to the grocery store, and never going above 30 mph. Ah, the shame! It would be a crime.

Or imagine this: suppose you were destined to be the greatest pitcher ever, to have the golden throwing arm, but you never discovered baseball. Imagine if all you used your arm for was typing on the computer or repairing cars.

Or who knows if the one destined to find a cure for cancer avoided the medical field because he was squeamish of blood?

Scary thought, eh? To have an incredible gift, but to not use it? And yet it happens all the time. All the time. As men, we have a powerful gift to speak words of encouragement and blessing to our wives and children. I’ve seen the powerful effect it can have for changing lives, the way it builds people up. But it is something we do not use often enough, not nearly enough. It’s nothing magical or supernatural, and yet when you see the way lives are affected by the right words spoken from a father, or the gaping void that results when those words are withheld, it’s amazing the effect it has.

John Eldredge described the longing in the hearts of women in his book, Wild at Heart:

“…the deep cry of a little girl’s heart is am I lovely? Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen. This is core to her identity, the way she bears the image of God. Will you pursue me? Do you delight in me? Will you fight for me? And like every little boy, she has taken a wound as well. The wound strikes right at the core of her heart of beauty and leaves a devastating message with it: No. You’re not beautiful and no one will really fight for you. Like (the male) wound, hers almost always comes at the hand of her father.”

And does it not make sense, when we see how the most beautiful young woman can be drawn to the most unlikely of scoundrels, simply because he is the first show interest in her, to act like she has something desirable in her? Unfortunately, we men tend to forget this powerful factor of attraction as we get older, and words of love and affection are replaced with complaints about dinner and the shifting of affections to “toys” and sports.

In like manner, children need to hear the powerful words of encouragement that a father can offer, words to build them up, and describe the dreams that they may not yet see. “Yes, you can do this!” “You are doing great!” “I’m so proud of you, and how you hung in there.” These are such powerful messages into the soul of a child.

So many men simply do not realize what power they have, to impact their loved ones. They stand there watching helplessly, wishing they could help, much like a mighty warrior standing before a dragon, not realizing he has a sword at his side. “Pull out your sword! It’s there at your side! Use it!”

Then from Hollywood and popular culture, we hear the message again and again that men are useless, little boys concerned only with their own pleasures. It’s a terrible tactic of the devil, and oh so successful: to make men forget what a powerful weapon (for the good) that they possess. Just recently I watched a man choose to pass up the opportunity to compliment his daughter, unable to speak the words, as she looked on so longingly for those words of affirmation. What a loss. And then I think of the times I myself have spoken harshly, when I could have built up. What a loss.

Our children need this, so desperately. It’s “the blessing” that fathers passed on to their children since biblical times, that Gary Smalley and John Trent describe in their book, The Blessing. Without the words of blessing from a father, there is a painful gap missing in the hearts of their families. Even after they are grown, so many men and women desperately long for this blessing from their fathers. I’ve seen it happen in grown men, stuck in holding patterns and unable to make crucial advances for their families, while they await the blessing from their fathers that never comes. That message of affirmation, belief, and trust. For a father to say, “I’m proud of you son”, and to mean it. How powerful.

But for most of us men, such a day may never come. Too many of our fathers were never trained much in the way of fathering sons, or they abandoned their roles prematurely, or perhaps they are no longer alive to make that connection. In those times, we need to stretch beyond them, to the greater purpose in all of this: the connection with our heavenly father. It’s hard to see it, in the ups and downs of this life, but He has been reaching out to us all along:

“For I am confident of this very thing,
that He who began a good work in you
will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus”
Philippians 1:6

Learning to see God at work in our lives, fathering us where there was a gap, is a difficult process, but worthwhile. And from that power and confidence, we can turn to those around us, and pass on this wonderful gift, the blessing. As husbands and fathers, this could be the greatest work of our lives. To see those around us as priceless works of God, it makes for a good investment, to pour our lives into them, to build them up. And that’s the work of “the blessing”. Otherwise, we stand as helpless knights in armor, watching the dragon attack our families, but unable to lift our swords. Or the pitcher with the golden arm, who never steps onto the field. Or the Porsche owner, who never makes it past Krogers. We were meant for more than that.

Being somewhat pragmatic, I feel very strongly about this issue. Ok, that’s an understatement – I get very emotional about this issue. Just over 3,000 American civilians have died in the past decade due to terrorism, the overwhelming majority of those on 9/11. We lose that many to cancer EVERY 48 HOURS. That’s right – the threat from two days of cancer equals ten years of terrorism. Moreover, the death loss to three days of cancer matches our nation’s entire history of loss to terrorism.

Which do you think is the bigger threat?

Hypothetically speaking, I know if China or Russia launched a nuclear attack on the US (what else could cause such catostrophic death rates – 550,000 killed EVERY year?), we would be out of Iraq in a heartbeat. There would be no debate, as we would unanimously point to the numbers and agree our priorities lie elsewhere. Is it about time we give the same objective view to cancer?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Bush-basher or a nay-sayer; for me, this is much more about the war on cancer than it is about the war on terrorism. True, terrorism is a monster to deal with; but while terrorism is nipping at the heal, cancer has entirely consumed the other leg.


NEWSWEEK: A 'Surge' in the War on Cancer?
by Jonathan Alter

Aug. 27, 2007 - Presidential campaigns are not just about winning, they’re about putting big ideas on the national agenda. Even though some candidates were elsewhere, that happened Monday at Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong Presidential Cancer Forum in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

The four Democrats who showed up (the Republicans come Tuesday) all committed themselves to at least doubling the $5 billion spent annually for cancer research—in other words, to backing a “surge” in the long-neglected war on cancer. Considering that cancer kills 550,000 Americans a year (that’s 1,500 a day—the leading cause of death for those under 85), it’s about time. As Bill Richardson said, “it's pathetic” that we now spend the same in two weeks in Iraq as we spend all year fighting cancer.

Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, and Dennis Kucinich were also convincing in explaining how they would use the power of the presidency to change national priorities. “That money needs to come home,” Clinton said, and end the “stalemate” in the war on cancer. “It’s a moral obligation.” Edwards took note of the millions of people with cancer who don’t have the advantages he and his wife Elizabeth enjoy. They lose all their money, he said, on top of getting sick. But even the Edwardses cannot read their incomprehensible medical bills. And Edwards, along with the other candidates, believes that insurance companies often limit necessary treatment. He also noted that only two in 10 proposals for cancer research get funded these days. This is driving young reseachers out of oncology toward other fields, dramatically slowing the search for cures. Until recently, when cancer budgets were cut by President Bush, it was five of 10.

There was a passion to the event that will no doubt be obliterated by the news about Alberto Gonzales. That’s too bad. But Armstrong, who co-moderated with Chris Matthews of MSNBC, can take comfort in the fact that the marker has been laid down. Every candidate will now be asked: Do you favor doubling the funding for cancer research? And if not, to what better use would you put that money?

Ultimately, politicians are forced to deal with the real issues in people’s lives. With cancer touching every family in the country, we may be seeing the beginning of new priorities in the big tent of American politics.

© 2007 Newsweek, Inc.

The Lord was with him...

We're all familiar with the story of Joseph, the original Cinderella, who endured so much in Egypt until he was elevated to the palace (Genesis 37-42). But the one thing that always disappointed me about that story was the absence of any communication from God to Joseph. At least, we have no record of it. To think of all the hardship that Joseph endured above his peers and forefathers, to be sold as a slave, then cast wrongfully into prison, all the while keeping the faith: and yet God never rewarded him with direct communication? This struck me as so odd.
Then I heard my pastor this Sunday morning raise up a great point about Joseph's story: each of his times of great trial (when he was a slave and when he was in prison) start the same way: "And the Lord was with Joseph" (Gen 39:2 & 39:21)

Stop the tape. That's it. I don't know what all that implied, if it meant a daily conversation with the Almighty, a visible manifestation, or what, but I do know this: during those terrible times, Joseph had what we all so greatly long for, to experience the presence of God Himself. How wonderful. During those times when we and the rest of the world looked down on him and shook our heads with pity, he was at the height of human experience. The LORD was with him. With him. While mopping floors, while cleaning horse dung, and while cleaning up messes in the prison. God was with him. How wonderful.

But that raises the question: what would we give up to be with the LORD? If given the choice of living in wealth and comfort, without the Lord, or living in poverty and neglect, with HIS presence, what would we choose?

Most of us would struggle with that, and in honesty, probably give an answer that would leave us with a lifetime of questioning and regret. "Where is God when I need Him?" "Why do I feel so alone, so dry?" Perhaps, it is because God is back in that prison, back mopping those floors.

Now I'm not saying anyone should sell their homes or cars, but it's still a challenging thought: what do we value more, God's presence or our comfort?

I am reading through John Eldredge's book "The Way of the Wild Heart", and the farther I get into it, the more it grabs a hold of my soul. Extending on his book "Wild at Heart", Eldredge digs farther into the male heart, laying it all out bare as I've never seen before. He writes to fathers learning how to lead their sons into classic manhood, at the same time explaining how to find for ourselves the manhood that so few of us were led into. It's an fascinating topic, that completely shatters the visage of overgrown Peter Pan boys you see on TV, and that we are so readily led to believe.

I just finished a chapter talking about the "Vision Quest" year he led his 13-year-old son through, a time of growth and initiation into manhood, ending with a ceremony. The ceremony, like the year leading up to it, involves a group of men, close friends, with whom the boy has seen adventure and learned lessons of true manhood, speaking encouragement and conviction into his heart & soul.

His narrative just thrills my soul, as I think of the adventure to come with raising my own son, pouring into his life and teaching him what manhood is about. This concept, of intentionally teaching your son about manhood, is something I never had growing up, and wish I had learned years ago. But I am so excited to be learning about this while Josh is still young. So much to learn, so much to do. The adventure of life just keeps getting better.

One common thread through this, which rings true with the lessons I've had to learn the hard way, is that good parenting is more about investing, than molding. Invest in the child, pour into them, rather than focusing on just behavior or forcing them into a mold of what you envision. God's vision is so much bigger than ours.

Night Fishing

Silent Bugs

One of the hardest bugs to fix in software is the "silent" bug: a bug that produces the wrong results, but does not provide any information about exactly *where* things went wrong in the code. And in most business applications, that leaves you with thousands of lines of code to sift through; the veritable "needle in a haystack". But it does not need to be that way: a simple coding technique is to wrap each function with something we call a "try/catch" block, which allows the function encountering the problem to tell the world, "Hey! It's me! Look here! I'm the guy with the problem!" That little technique makes a world of difference in tracking down bugs.

Now, if you are not a software geek, you're probably wondering what the significance of that is. Well, I'm finding more and more of life is like that. When we do not anticipate the problems in life (the ones we KNOW will come), we don't tend to handle them well. We bury them, hide them, and/or just ignore them. HOPING they will somehow just "go away". And like a software developer, a simple philosophy goes a long way to dealing with that: "Yeah, I know problems are going to happen, so here is how I will handle them when they do."

We see the same issue played out on the national level. How did the U.S. do so much better than the Soviet Union? Both started out with revolutionary concepts that, on paper, sounded good, but had yet to be fully played out on the national level. And, as history books show us, one went on to be the leading world superpower, while the other struggled with corruption and fundamental flaws throughout it's existence. What's the difference? I'm sure historians could give lots of answers, but I would propose one major factor: American forefathers *anticipated* things going wrong, of corruption and tyranny. In fact, it horrified them. Hence, the balance of powers, written into the fabric of our government (congress vs. executive vs. judicial). They did not know who would lead the country 200 years after them, but they wanted to make sure that person could not be a tyrant. On the other hand, the communists were fully optimistic that their system would bring out the best in people. Few, if any, safeguards were written into their system. They simply did not anticipate tyranny...and that is just what they got. Had they PLANNED for things to go wrong (i.e. power corruption), and planned for ways to deal with that (balance of power), who knows how different the world would be today.

Now bring it back down to the personal level: we men, like programs and nations, are subject to flaws. And unfortunately, we are often the last to realize it. After all, we make our choices, and who wants to go second-guessing their every move? That's fine, but we also need to be cognizant both of our flaws, and our own tendency to overlook them. That's why it is important to be sensitive when red flags are raised by objective parties. And who does that better for us married men, than our wives. They may have their own flaws, but they also have an uncanny ability to see ours a mile away. With incredible accuracy, too.

Or maybe for you that person is a friend, or a parent, or a brother. Regardless of who it is, we all need to be aware and cognizant of our own humanity. We need to be very cautious before disregarding the warnings of those around us who care for our wellbeing. That little change in viewpoint can make a world of difference in how you handle problems when they arise, whether they are quickly dealt with, or if they become long-term bugs in our system.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye
and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
How can you say to your brother,
'Let me take the speck out of your eye,'
when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to remove
the speck from your brother's eye."

Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV)

The conflict in Iraq is more than just a thorn in the side of our country, it is a struggle in the soul and moral conscience of our nation. We have been faced with what may be the most intractible question of our century. As a democracy, we are a community that debates issues and takes sides. But I think we perhaps go too far: we pick a corner (hawk or dove) and defend our points vigorously...but we would be better served to keep questioning the issues, and our stance on them. We learn more by considering the arguments of our opponent, than by debating them.

Some questions to consider:

Is this a conflict that can be won by force?

What are the conditions that we will leave Iraq?

What would become of the millions of western-supporting Iraquis if we left?

What would become of the Christians in Iraq if we left?

Is this a conflict that can be won by the military? If not, what is the purpose of the military?

Is this a conflict that can be won at all?

How do we define success?

At what point would we say the cost is not worth it?

If we leave, what will fill the vacuum?

If we left, could the militant radicals build a government, or are they merely agents of chaos and intimidation?

Sadam Hussein was able to keep them at bay with an iron fist. Could another strong ruler/tyrant (i.e. another Sadam Hussein) fill in that void?

If we had to choose, what would be worse - tyrrany or chaos?

Is there anything that would be worth the ongoing cost of American blood? Is there anything our generation feels that strong about?

How many Iraquis lives are worth one American life?

Tough questions...

Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

And so it begins. God has been so good to me, giving me a new life, forming a new family from the brokenness & pain of loss, and bringing healing and laughter to our home. In light of these life changes, I thought it would only be appropriate for me to start a new blog.

I'm afraid I won't be able to update it as often as I did in the past (having a family of six under the roof keeps one busy), but I do get restless on occasion to scratch down some thoughts from time to time.

That's all for now - God bless!

Wayne